My 10 month old is a monkey. Children's Book Murderer. IG. I will be okay.

 

Last night I am minding my own business pushing my 10 month old, who resembles that of a baby monkey, trying to escape in her car.

Husband is mowing the yard at a high rate of speed befor the storms {that never happened} came whipping through.

We live on a back country road.

Okay it's not a dirt road but it's not a high traffic subdivision type of area.

I look up and am startled by a young twenty something trying to sell me Children's books.

He has been trying to catch us at home for the last month.

Husband said when he spotted me and realized I was there he jumped out of his truck and started walk/jogging towards me.

Mind you I had no bra on, no makeup, my hair was ten kinds of crazy, and I was sweating like a banshee from pushing said monkey toddler around.

So I sat there and listened to his twenty minute spiel to tell him that I was not interested in his $300.00+ Children's books that he was trying to sell me.

He just looked at me in disbelief.

He could not believe that I did not want these books.

Then he left.

I posted it on Facebook and had a girl proceed to tell me that there is a similar person in a town about 40 minutes away doing this and trying to get into peoples homes.

Anybody that knows me KNOWS I am a freak about our house.

It pretty much has to be locked up tighter than Fort Knox for me to be able to go to sleep.

Now you are telling me that this dude trying to sell me Children's books is going to try and come into my house and kill me while I sleep?

I guess I have one thing going for me...

Pretty sure after seeing me the way he saw me last night he was probably running for the hills.

 

 

PS apparently my IG was a hot topic of conversation yesterday because it made an appearance on two blogs ...  AHEM Jake n Tim Bob !!!!

 

PSS I haven't been feeling great lately.  Not to worry anybody but I have made a doctor's appointment to get myself checked out.  Moody, tired, basically feeling like I am in a drunken/PMS state 95% of the time.  Those who are truly my friends will understand.  Those who don't simply aren not my friends.  Thanks for everybody that has been there for me and continues to do so!

XOXO







I am not 18 anymore...

There was more to my weekend than just Friday night but these pictures pretty much sum everything up...
Because I am still paying for the repercussions of drinking and staying up late like I did back when I was 18.
I will be the first to tell you that Mama can't hang and she was wrecked all weekend after Friday night's shenanigans.
I just simply can't do it anymore.
Oh and a word to the wise...
Don't stuff your boots with airplane bottles of liquor.
They now check...
Bastards.

PS If you eat goetta balls and Goetta Fest 2013 you WILL feel like a big ol' goetta ball...

I did manage to sneak in a mommy/daughter date with my middle child THE SHELBSTER yesterday.


Happy Monday friends.

Dear 21 year old self...



Dearest 21 year old self~

You might not think so right now but you WILL look back on these days and be able to smile.  After all they landed you exactly where you were meant to be...

Just because you didn't finish college, got pregnant at the age of 20, and married somebody that you just weren't in love with and divorced by the time you were 23 doesn't mean that you have failed.

You will think that at this moment in time your world is over but I promise you that couldn't be further from the truth.

You are immature.  You want to party more and spend less time where you should be.  Your wild and free yet you feel trapped at the same time.

You hate yourself but I promise that, too will change.

You are tired and moody often and have actually been falling asleep at the wheel.  Not good. 

You find out that you have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and low thyroid all...  You are not even thirty yet and you feel like you are trapped in a 90 year old body.

You become friends with somebody who inspires you to eat better and work out.  You lose a lot of weight.  You gain more confidence.  Know that this is just the beginning of your journey with weight loss.

You feel a lot of pain.  You are not getting to do what your old friends are doing.  They don't get you.  You don't fit in.  That's okay.  Just know that all these things are happening for a reason and in due time things will definitely start falling into place.

At this point in time you, 21 year old self, would have never dreamed of being happily married again with three beautiful girls. 

But you do. 

You would never dream that you were a full-time workaholic with a side of crazy OCD. 

But you are.

You never would have thought you were considering yourself an athlete or even being a semi-success story and motivator for a lot of women.  Well, 21 year old self I have news for you, you are.  Oh and you write a blog and guess what?  People actually read it.  They actually think you are kinda funny... 

Yep, that happens, too. 

Don't regret the past 21 year old self.  After all it shaped you into the person you were building yourself up to be.  All your struggles, decisions, mistakes were absolutely worth it in the end.

Your life is far from over.  Hell it's just beginning.  Hang on for the ride because it's going to be a wild one...

 

PS lay off the silver shadow, quit dying your hair jet black, and less liquor it only leads to your head being stuck in the toiled for hours on end.

 

Zumba Problems: A zumba song comes on in the store, and all of the sudden you can't talk straight or focus on shopping... in fact, you break out in dance.



POSITIVE AND PERKY POLLY IS IN DUHHHH HOWSSEEEEEEE!!!!
Did you miss me????
With the hell weekend/Monday that I had I really really thought the weigh~in today would be bad news.
Surprisingly with everything going on included feeling like a big puffy marshmallow because Aunt Flo decided to grace me with her presence I was the same weight.
169.
I'll take it.

Meanwhile if you are feeling like a marshmallow and want to feel less like said marshmallow I suggest doing Zumba.

Oh heyyyyyyyy there 704 calorie burn.

{I was going so hard I accidentally stopped my session and had to restart.  BOOM}

I had a serious GO ME moment last night, too.

When I first started this whole workout biznass I could barely even hardly do 20 jumping jacks at one time.

AT ONE FRAGGN TIME PEOPLE.

Last night we did several rounds of jumping jacks.

I did them all without having to stop.

We also ran around the gym for an entire song, it was long, and you had the choice to run or walk.

When I first started this journey I would have NEVER been able to run the whole time.

Last night I was running like it was no big deal.

I wasn't out of breath.

It was probably the best I have felt in such a long time.

And guess what after how crappy I felt in the days prior I felt so accomplished and proud when I left class last night.

 

So I have been upping my Zumba classes going at least two, if not three, days a week.

It's fun and a nice change from the gym at work.

I 100% could not do the same workout errrryyyydayyyy.

I am way, too ADHD for that.

Not to mention I burn at least 600 calories in every class.

 

That's where my good friend Serena comes into play.

Her class is on Saturday mornings.

I had not seen her in a couple years upon arriving to her first class.

I was not prepared for the change in her.

She looks amazing y'all!

Proof is in the picture...

Those pants she is wearing is just from last summer!

Talk about some serious inspiration and motivation.

 

AND JUST LOOK AT MY GUNS...

Thank you Zumba AND Kettleball workout.

 

My goals for this week are simple.

Drink lots of water and STAY WITHIN MY CALORIE LIMIT.

The weekends are hell for me y'all.

Pure eateverythinginsight kind of hell.

I have done it before so I know I can do it now.

Oh and just one more goal.

Rock the shit out of this dress on Friday night at the Toby Keith concert...

Feeling confident is something I have ALWAYS struggled with.

I am definitely better now than I have ever been but it isn't always easy.

We all do it.

Nit picking things that only we notice.

The stretch marks underneath my arms...

The fat on the side of my knees...

They seem really silly when I type them out but we all have those things we are self conscious of.

Confidence is sexy though and I am really trying hard to rock that.

 

PS I believe that if you don't treat yourself every once in a while you will fail so I felt it necessary to have a beer last night after my 700+ calorie burn.

 

PSS I am not always sweaty and in workout gear I promise ;)

Short and sweet...

My ADHD is on hyper speed today.

I feel like at any given second I could turn into a female version of the Incredible Hulk.

Like I have visions of biting my ear off.

Normal?

Probably not.

 

Obviously I am feeling a little better than the past couple of days.

Still not great...

But slowly and surely I am getting there.

Thanks for all the sweet comments, texts, emails, etc.

 

Trying REALLLLLYYYYYYYYY hard not to feel sorry for myself.

Sometimes that is easier said than done though.

 

I know I am not the only one who goes through this.

Sometimes when going through it though I DO in fact feel really alone.

 

Then my Mom reminds me that I am in fact NOT alone and makes me laugh so hard I want to piss my pants.

Her and all her bags that she has to carry on a regular basis.

Sometimes I want to go through all of these and see just exactly what's in there?

And yes, that is a bag with cats on it...

 

Upon sitting on the bus she proceeds to curse me out because she has been stuck on Level 23 of Candy Crush for approximately three weeks now and I am on Level 90.

...and Husby is on Level 200+.

She was legitimately pissed and said that she has been awake every night until midnight or later trying to beat this level.

She needs an intervention.

Seriously?!

 

She kills me but she made me laugh this morning.

Something that I needed so badly.

And it worked.

 

You don't even realize how much you can change a persons day with your actions.

Sometimes something so small as laughing can change a day...

I know it changed mine.



Thanks Mom.